In the North East’s immigrant communities, striking a balance between child safety and cultural values is a vital consideration. As parents from various backgrounds strive to nurture their children within the framework of their traditions, the need to ensure their well-being becomes more intricate and multi-faceted.
While many parents manage this transition seamlessly, others find adapting to the parenting norms of their new communities to be challenging. A social worker in Sunderland, originally from Nigeria, is taking steps to educate immigrant parents on the need to be culturally aware of their new surroundings in carrying out their roles as parents.
Drawing from her roles as both a social worker and as a mother of two, Mrs Ola Tony-Obot is committed to assisting numerous parents across the North East. Her aim is to provide them with insights into how the UK childcare system works and help them avoid potential legal complications.
49-year-old Tony-Obot said: “Parenting not only in the Northeast but as immigrants generally is a journey of learning and adaptation while safeguarding children. It presents both opportunities and challenges. Amidst the celebration of cultural diversity, the significance of understanding how different communities approach parenting and child protection cannot be overstated.
“Having personally encountered similar challenges during my own adjustment period, I understand the emotions and difficulties that immigrant parents might face. Hence, the need to reach as many parents as possible. I believe that sharing my experiences can foster empathy, resonate with their struggles, and inspire them to seek guidance without hesitation. Most importantly, immigrant parents often find it easier to confide in someone who understands their cultural background.”
“When migrating to a new country, the onus is on you to research about the country you are relocating to, to avoid unintentionally violating local laws or norms due to ignorance. Ignorance is not an excuse when it comes to the law.”
“In most Cultures, practices such as not eating three square meals, missing appointments, or smacking might not be considered abusive, but in the UK, they are classified as child abuse particularly if there are physical bruises. It could lead to the immediate removal of that child as he/she could be in danger of significant harm.”
She said it is essential for parents to align with the culture and rules of their host communities. Adding that, while it is crucial to maintain cultural identities, it’s equally important not to get carried away with practices that might be unacceptable or inappropriate in the new environment. To avoid such clashes, it’s crucial for parents to get involved in their community, remain open-minded, and seek professional help if they are struggling with parenting.
Elizabeth Sunduzwayo, founder of New Hope North East, a children’s charity in South Shields said: “Immigrant parents should recognise that when they board that plane, everything about their laws, ego, and culture ends at the airport. Failing to do so could potentially jeopardise parental rights and could lead to the removal of their children from their care. For instance, it’s crucial to avoid coercing children into activities they resist.
“You cannot, for example, compel a child to attend church against their will, and it is against the law to withhold certain privileges or necessities as a form of punishment for their refusal. Instead, it’s advisable to engage in open communication and discuss the potential consequences of their actions.
“A common challenge is getting immigrant dads to be supportive, especially when it comes to seeking advice or counselling. Some may say, “No one should tell me how to run my family.” But it’s important to remember that this is not a place where you are expected to be treated as a king- you are both working adults and it means that support from both sides is crucial.”
Ms Sunduzwayo said Dads should not leave everything to moms as their involvement can make a big difference.
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